Tantrums: is it right to spank or not spank your baby?

By sush
May 27, 2020
3 min read

Yesterday I went to the saloon after weeks of carrying my hair natural. I went with my toddler as I could not leave him behind.

My baby is one of those toddlers with madt tantrums (looking back I remember I had such tantrums). He hits his head on a wall or with his fist when very angry.

So while at the saloon, after fixing my hair I made to paint my nails and that was the trigger.

My toddler wanted his nails painted too (we use to play paint at home lol) but the saloon matron refused him and gbam! Tantrum started. From cry to hitting his fist together to hitting the table and the 2 moms who were there too, one with the child, looked at me like… kilode!

One even said in Yoruba that this is a result of not beating the child and I responded to her. I spank my child but not beat him because he is not old enough to understand what he is doing and understands only a little of my explanation.

So beating him is fruitless, it will only escalate his tantrums and it did.

When they say him hit himself the other was so furious at me (lol) and said that this child needs beating and I went like, you cannot be more aggressive than his father yet, that one has achieved nothing from screaming at the child and spanking him. Instead, the boy gets angrier, hits himself more and goes back to that thing you are preventing him from – my son is resilient.

So which result has been achieved? None.

First and foremost, I feel him hitting himself is a way to tell you that beating cannot solve his case. You are just helping him harm himself more which is wrong.  

I remember when I was young, about 5/6years old, I use to get into such tantrum and I will break everything breakable.

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My Dad didn’t believe in the cane` as most African parents believe but my Mom, she believed in it. So when my Dad was out, she will spank us hard. This got her nowhere with me as it infuriated me more and I did worse so when my Dad gets back, he would know she has been spanking us and that results to exchange of words.

I believe my Moms spanking made me harder as till date, I find it hard to cry. I remember in secondary school when teachers went all out to flog me, it resulted in the canes breaking and me looking at them with disdain like…you think you can break me!

I know I got used to my Moms spanking and it made me harder for flogs as per, …e nor pass that na! lol

I think it will be worse for a son and being this is my second son, spanking a toddler is never a way to go or what do you think?

Whattoexpect.com frowns on spanking babies and toddlers as it never produces the right results. The noted that it produces the wrong result as it teaches bullying, mismanagement of self-control plus it can result in physical abuse and injury.

Spanking I never a way to go for parents especially for kids below 3 and for me, it isn’t at all even till they turn 16.

What is your take?

Sue

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